I'm reaching out to you one last time. But, I think you're not answering me anymore. We're disconnected, removed, estranged. I'm sending this message out into the wide open cyber space, in the hopes that it finds you or that you find it and me, too. It's like putting a message in a bottle and tossing it out into the sea. What are the odds you'll read this and answer me? A million to one, 10 million, 100?
Wave after wave, shore upon shore, day and night, weeks, months, years. Nothing.
You must be dead. As horrible as the thought of that is, it's the only thing I can think of that would prevent you from answering me. It's been so long, too long now. I'm having trouble remembering what you look like, what your voice sounds like. And that terrifies me. How could I ever forget you? I wouldn't have believed that was even possible.
But, that's exactly what's happening to me, to us.
If you're not dead, then you're hiding. You're hiding someplace safe, free from harm. That's it, you're not dead, you're hiding. And you can't reach out to contact me because then...you wouldn't be safe. They'd know where you are and they'd get you.
So, now that I think of it: Don't contact me. DO NOT! This is the only way. You were right to go into hiding. You're so smart. They can't find you that way, like this I mean.
I'm trying to remember the last time we were together. You were so young, so innocent. That was before it happened, before it all started happening. I miss you so much.
I miss me when I was you. I'm sorry it has to be like this. But it's the only way. Stay safe and don't come out. Stay young, stay innocent. I'll be okay out here. But, you have to stay alive...for the both of us.
Stay deep down inside where no one can get you.
And I'll protect you from harm and from bad things happening. I couldn't do that when I was you. I was too little. But I can do it now. When it happens, it won't be happening to you. It will be happening to me, okay buddy?
Just remember that, keep saying it over and over: "This is not happening to me. It's happening to someone else. It can't be happening to me, because no one would do that to a child."
Now be very quiet. Don't make a sound and no one will ever know you're even there. Only I will know and I won't tell a single soul, no one.
And I promise I'll never forget you.
